Never let a chance to connect go by

Adapted from an article originally published in the Northland Age on July 25, 2019, at 9:48 AM.

As you walk down the street, how often do you truly notice the person you just passed? I mean, really see them? Acknowledge them as a unique individual, shaped by their own set of experiences, challenges, and moments—both past and present?

Perhaps they are someone’s loved one: a father, an aunt, a partner, or a child. But you’re in a rush, there’s so much to do, and it’s easy to think, “I’ll notice them later.” But often, later never comes. What we don’t realise is that, in that moment, we’ve just passed by an entire world—one with a perspective that is entirely their own. Too often, I find myself walking through town, lost in my own thoughts, only realising too late that I didn’t take the time to truly connect or acknowledge the people around me. I wish I had paused, taken a moment to care, to offer manaaki, instead of focusing solely on my own list of tasks.

If we never take the time to notice those around us, how can we ever truly connect? How can we build empathy or understanding for those who need it most? Did they smile at me? Did I even make eye contact? What is their story? What parts of themselves do they hide from the world? And how can I help, anyway? I’m just one person, right?

FAMILY VIOLENCE impacts us all

Family violence is deeply woven into the fabric of our society. It thrives in the hidden, private corners of our homes, and far too often, the “I just don’t have time” or “it’s not my place” mentality stops us from addressing it.

The truth is that family violence, in all its forms, touches us all—whether through our own families or our wider community. If we continue to overlook it, family violence will only grow, quietly festering in the emotional depths of our people, sometimes passed down unconsciously from one generation to the next. I believe it’s one of the greatest threats to our well-being as individuals, communities, and society as a whole. Quite simply, it is an assault on our mana.

At Whiria te Muka, we’re working to create a space where we can foster a culture of noticing, of connecting, and of developing a genuine sense of empathy for the people who make up our diverse communities. We believe that to address the complexities of family violence, we must listen to and value the voices, experiences, and perspectives of our whānau. Their insights must be the guiding force in supporting healthy, empowered people across Te Hiku.

Building capabilities through social innovation

My role with Whiria is to build capabilities, develop strategies, and provoke critical thinking through social innovation and creative, solution-based approaches. Alongside the incredible team of kaimahi — Te Hiku iwi and NZ Police — I work to bring our community’s voices to the forefront, to encourage our people to be the designers of our future, and ultimately, to build a collective legacy we can all be proud of.

Kia whiria te muka tangata — Weaving together the fibres of Te Hiku communities into a strong, healthy, and enduring strand — is both an inspiring and daunting task. But if we never step up, confront, and design our future the way we aspire for it to be, then we will never know what could have been. What it was we should have noticed.

These are our people, our places. It is now our time to take collective ownership and shape a world that cares, heals, and truly notices the miracle walking down the street.

He muka tangata tātou. We are all a woven people.